yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You don't make any sense
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