she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
