do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize