we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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