How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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