she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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