So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!