that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?