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I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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