You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
