We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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