return my video game
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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