Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
