you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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