woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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