carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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