I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
