I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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