dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
