Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
