Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
