How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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