We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
