you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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