jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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