i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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