You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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