My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You can't special order awesome
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize