using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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