Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
