My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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