I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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