That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize