And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize