Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
