I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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