he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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