6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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