wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
