Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
