would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
