I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
