i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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