so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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