oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize