Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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