So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
