Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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