Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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