just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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