As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
