rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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