You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
