the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
