Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
