JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
