i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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