I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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