So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
