Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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