i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
