Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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