You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
